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01 October 2004 @ 04:03 pm
What's wrong with me?  
I may actually, seriously be going crazy. Or at least senile. That's not supposed to happen yet, is it? ={

I know I've commented on it before- how sometimes, I start thinking of something that sets off the "trigger." I don't know what the trigger is, other than a series of rapid thoughts that overwhelm my consciousness. I can't even remember what those thoughts are once I'm feeling better. Until that point, though, I feel dizzy, overwhelmed, and sometimes extremely drowsy.

This happens every so often, and it happened again this afternoon, as I was leaving my desk to go home. The scary thing is, this time it affected me so badly that I actually forgot how to get to the bottom floor of my building. It's not a complicated process- stairs or elevator. But I was just stumbling around, seeing without really seeing anything... I ended up walking into the mens room, for Chrissake. And yes, people saw me do it. I didn't know it was the mens room at the time, though- it just looked like a dead end, so I turned around and walked myself toward the door on the opposite end of the hall, which, thankfully, was a stairwell. Every landing I descended, I wondered if that was the one I had to get off on. I have to go to the ground floor, but I couldn't remember that for the life of me.

By the time I got to the ground floor, I was feeling a little more cognizant and in control. I panicked just briefly, thinking I had also forgotten how to drive home, but I made myself run through the steps in my head and they were all there. So, now I'm home and I'm okay, but I'm kinda creeped out. If that had happened in the middle of my driving, I probably would've been a pancake on the highway.

Has anyone heard of any neural/psychological conditions even remotely like this? I don't know where to begin searching. I can't just let this continue, because it's obviously getting worse. And before anyone asks, I got a decent amount of sleep last night (six hours), and the only drugs I consume on any sort of regular basis are caffeine and ibuprofen. Had some tea this morning, but no Advil.
Current Mood: scaredscared
Current Music: Green Day - Dookie album
Purrsia Kat: hmmmpurrsia on October 1st, 2004 05:41 pm (UTC)
Off the top of my head I want to say it may be a form of a panic or anxiety attack.

At any rate, that sounds troublesome and I wish you well in getting to the bottom of it.


Miusheri: Minnamiusheri on October 1st, 2004 07:47 pm (UTC)
That certainly sounds like a possibility- thanks so much for your concern =) *hugs*
ex_radric52 on October 1st, 2004 10:25 pm (UTC)

Although I'm not a medical expert, I do have some experience with anxiety attacks. (Personal experience, actually, hehe.)

I hope you don't mind my asking a few questions about the episode you had, if you can remember any more details.

Did your heart feel like it was racing, or that it was going fast but couldn't really feel it pumping? Did you feel any tingling or numbness or "coldness" in your extremities during the whole episode? Did you experience any odd pains, even slight ones, in the shoulders, back, or chest? Were you hyperventilating at any point, and if so, when?

I was 26 when I had my first bouts of anxiety attacks, and 29 when I had my second bouts of them. Each time, I experienced feelings of "surreality" or "dream/nightmare"-like states. At the end of one, I feel felt tired, sometimes exhausted after a major attack.

My first suggestion would be to reduce the caffeine intake, and see if that helps. That can be a trigger, and it isn't always an instantaneous one. Stress can do it, too, and from what I've read of what's been going on as of late, it seems you've been under a lot of it, from various sources. If your dancing helps you to relax, then try dance more often. If not, try some methods of meditation.

Also, talk to your doctor about it, see what her/his opinion is. The last thing you want to do is what I did, not see anyone about it, and let the anxiety/panic attacks worsen in severity until it hinders your daily life.

If you want to ask me any questions, feel free either through this entry or privately through my email (provided below).

I hope this isn't the case for you, though, and that this fades away never to return. I wish you well. Please take care.

whduncan2 (at) comcast (dot) net
Miusheri: Feliciamiusheri on October 2nd, 2004 02:26 pm (UTC)
I don't remember having any of the symptoms you described- it felt a lot like it feels when you're awakened from a deep sleep, where you can't remember what day it is or where you are, stuff like that. But those are definitely things to watch out for. Nick also recommended that I keep a notebook handy, so I can write down whatever that weird trigger thought is the next time it should occur to me.

I really appreciate your support, dear- I may write you with questions later, if I think of any. And do feel free to write me anytime you'd like- (my lj name) at gmail dot com =) *hugs*
though she be but little, she is fierce: so dazzling...golden_d on October 1st, 2004 08:26 pm (UTC)

Feel better.

thedemonprist on October 2nd, 2004 12:18 am (UTC)
*hugs* What Lycanis and Purrsia said - it sounds like an anxiety attack of some sort. You *have* had a lot of stuff going on in your life lately, it seems...and even positive events like your recent wedding can have an effect (not saying that it's the source of course).