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11 July 2004 @ 10:04 am
Facetious pseudo-wit, and other things  
I think mqstout will get the most joy out of this, but I'll subject everyone to it anyway.

A favorite expression of many people is "sure as hell," as in, "I'm sure as hell not going to read this post," or "Sure I'm sure- I'm sure as hell, ask anybody!" What the user expresses is a very vehement claim that whatever follows must and will be so, just as surely as there must exist a hell.

So, where does that leave an agnostic-leaning-toward-atheist like me? I don't believe there is a hell, so my use of the expression "sure as hell" must now imply the opposite, that whatever follows won't be so. Effectively, by changing my religious outlook, I have a new means by which to express sarcasm.

I'm sure as hell going to shut up now.

So, on to real life... I got my first paycheck on Friday, which was a bummer because I've worked three weeks and only got paid for one. Ask me how that works, 'cause I sure as hell know. Also, they took out my City of Pittsburgh occupational tax- which already got taken from me when I worked at Katz. Why do they make you fill out the forms and check YES next to "Did you already pay City of Pittsburgh occupational tax for the year 2004?" if they're just going to ignore it? Is there anyone out there in HR Land who can answer me that?

Why do I have the feeling I'm about to get a comment from someone pretending to be Catbert?

Oh well... occupational tax is only $10, but next year it's skyrocketing to $145. Y'know, if they'd just listened to the voters when they voted NO for the new stadiums, we wouldn't be in this mess. In Pittsburgh (*coughandeverywhereelsecough*), democracy is dead.

Having a fun weekend, though. Nick and I moved some stuff to our soon-to-be apartment and fiddled with a wedding registry. We've also been trying to decide what kind of pet we want (yes, you're allowed to have pets at the apartment). I've wanted a cat for I don't know how long, but my experience with a kitten last year (wow, my journal's a year old!) taught me that even that modicum of responsibility is too overwhelming for me just yet. So we went to a pet store to scout out other prospects, and I fell in love with the resident chinchilla. ^__^

I got a little book on how to care for them. They're nocturnal, which is great because I won't feel guilty leaving the little furbaby at home all day while I'm at work. It's kinda pricey to take care of them, but they seem to be rather low-maintenance as long as you hide anything they might be tempted to chew on, heh. They don't need washed, as they take baths in sand (very cute). Another obvious plus is that they're cuddly as all get-out. A well-groomed cat feels like 80-grit sandpaper when compared to the downy softness that is the chinchilla. We'll be thinking it over for a few months, because they're kinda hard to find, and it also seems that you can't have any other pets around a chinchilla... which is a bigger deal than you might imagine, because a well-cared-for chinchilla can live up to 20 years! I dunno if I'd want to wait that long to get a cat... but hey, that's what the mulling-over period is for.
 
 
Current Mood: happyhappy
Current Music: "Yami no Matsuei" soundtracks
 
 
 
(Anonymous) on July 12th, 2004 10:43 am (UTC)
Catbert Evil Director of HR - Answers your questions...
Your city taxes aren't actually city wide...It's true that you did pay the Oakland city tax, but you are sadly lacking on the North-Of-The-Rivers city tax. You are lucky that we aren't having you pay the transferance taxes. We in HR are benevolent, and you should always, always remember that.

Any future complaints will be met with corporate reassignment programming (a weekend retreat, and you will have a nifty head scar to show off).

Sincerely,
Catbert
Evil Director of HR
Miusherimiusheri on July 12th, 2004 07:20 pm (UTC)
Re: Catbert Evil Director of HR - Answers your questions...
YES!!!

This has so made my week. Erm, I mean, bowing my head and grudgingly obeying, bowing my head and grudgingly obeying...