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20 June 2009 @ 01:53 pm
The asshole just got busted for fraud, too  
"Kinkade painting was typically rendered in slightly surreal pastels. It typically featured a cottage or a house of such insistent coziness as to seem actually sinister, suggestive of a trap designed to attract Hansel and Gretel. Every window was lit, to lurid effect, as if the interior of the structure might be on fire."

I dunno who said it, but it's true.



Come on. Tell me that house isn't right down the street from Miskatonic U, filled to the brim with queer denizens sporting the horrifying, piscine Innsmouth look. They're opening a gateway to R'leyh amid one of their infernal rituals, causing the skies to darken. But don't worry- thanks to Kinkade, the terrifying spectacle will remain well illuminated by light sources of no explicable nature or purpose.
 
 
 
Aikidoka, dreamer, seeker, general purpose geekmanycolored on June 20th, 2009 08:29 pm (UTC)
Don't you love how the dirt tracks (presumably time-worn by many feet going about their daily business) squiggle back and forth?
Miusheri: kitty generalmiusheri on June 20th, 2009 09:36 pm (UTC)
Hahaha! Because a bipedal human being's natural inclination is to slither.

Perspective? What's that?
Aikidoka, dreamer, seeker, general purpose geekmanycolored on June 21st, 2009 12:37 am (UTC)
Unless... THOMAS KINCAID, PAINTER OF LIGHT, IS ACTUALLY A LIMBLESS REPTILE! (Explains the imprecise brushstrokes...)
Miusheri: grim reapermiusheri on June 21st, 2009 01:40 pm (UTC)
Yes, it takes a lot of training and dedication to learn how to grip a paintbrush with a squamous tentacle. Perhaps we're selling the guy short?
Abraxas: Sokka Paindr_abraxas on June 21st, 2009 03:24 am (UTC)
I like doing jigsaw puzzles and I noticed this kinkade had lots of puzzles. all looked about the same and all made me a bit depressed. to be honest, I thought the artist was somebody from like the 1800's lol well I can't say I'm a fan and after I googled the guy today I'm even less so - and, frankly, not shocked. why is religion such an easy scam?

that said, heh, love your description better than the pic.
Miusheri: grim reapermiusheri on June 21st, 2009 01:38 pm (UTC)
As Robert Heinlein said, "Anyone who can worship a trinity and insist that his religion is a monotheism can believe anything... just give him time to rationalize it."

And yeah, Kinkade is a far more contemporary hack, LOL! There are actually "galleries" (i.e. retail stores) dedicated to his tripe in various malls. My mom has a couple of his works, which makes me sad to think about. From what I understand, his people take prints of his pieces, put a few dabs of paint on them, then sell them as though they were true reproductions.

Lovecraft does make the whole enterprise slightly more tolerable... ;)
The Perfidious One, amethyst_hunter: Kitty does not want!amethyst_hunter on June 22nd, 2009 06:35 am (UTC)
I have to admit, the paintings are kind of pretty to look at, but only on a surface - you really look at them and they're all pretty much the same standard motif. I can't say that I've seen anything of Kinkade's that really stands out or makes him unique. All his works are just a little *too* perfect, you know?

Plus what I know of the guy's personal history leaves me cold, so I doubt I'll be signing up to buy any of his stuff anytime soon. :p I can go on eBay and find posters that are a helluva lot cheaper (and nicer) than what he charges for his crap.
Miusheri: hello_cthulhumiusheri on June 22nd, 2009 11:58 am (UTC)
The one good thing about his paintings are some of the colors he uses. Otherwise, aside from the seen-one-seen-'em-all flavor, he really has no idea how perspective or lighting works. The little footpath going past the bench, for instance, should not be that squiggly. Unless, as speculated above, this is a house of demons and some of them are in the habit of slithering.

Notice, also, how the sun is starting to go down behind the house. That means the tree and the house itself should be casting shadows forward (toward the viewer), but they're not. He's the "Painter of Light," only because he has no fucking clue how shadows should work. ;)

(I hate, BTW, the fact that he has given himself that sobriquet. You want to see a real Painter of Light? Pick a Rembrandt, any Rembrandt...)