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11 February 2009 @ 12:36 pm
"Sure, we're down with it. We invented it!"  

The Vatican claims Darwin's theory of evolution is compatible with Christianity

Wow! About time, but hey, better late than never.

Archbishop Gianfranco Ravasi, head of the Pontifical Council for Culture, said while the Church had been hostile to Darwin's theory in the past, the idea of evolution could be traced to St Augustine and St Thomas Aquinas.

How Random Babbling Becomes Corporate Policyt3knomanser on February 11th, 2009 06:19 pm (UTC)
Well, that is how they gained most of their converts.

Church: "Well, hello there Mr. Pagan. You're already a Christian, y'know."
Pagans: "Oh really? Howzzat then?"
Church: "Well, your whole Solstice festival, death, rebirth, etc? Yeah, we invented that. It's a symbol of Christ. We call it Christ's Mass, and it conveniently happens during the solstice."
Pagans: "Get out! Well, it certainly doesn't have the same traditions, right? I mean, do you exchange presents?"
Church: "Um... actually, yes! There were presents at Christ's birth. You actually borrowed that from us."
Pagans: "Oh, really? Well, what about great big honkin' orgies?"
Church: "Sure- oh, wait a moment." (checks notebook) "Okay, sort of. You can have all the sex you want, but only with one person, and you have to tell us about it."
Pagans: "Wait, what? Aren't you a little perv then. Want a little naughty storytime. Well, okay then- last night..."
Church: (remains celibate, if you don't count nuns and altar boys)
Miusheri: jon with tequilamiusheri on February 11th, 2009 06:56 pm (UTC)
Vatican, 2463 CE: "De Catholics inwented science!"

// Unless the Lutherans' cyborgs get there first

Edited at 2009-02-11 07:00 pm (UTC)
How Random Babbling Becomes Corporate Policyt3knomanser on February 11th, 2009 07:51 pm (UTC)
Or Buzznet gets to them...
Miusheri: grim reapermiusheri on February 11th, 2009 09:25 pm (UTC)
::smiles creepily, tips hat::
The Perfidious One, amethyst_hunter: Kitteh failz at eatedamethyst_hunter on February 12th, 2009 04:25 am (UTC)

Now, if we could just get the fuckers to admit that birth control is a GOOD thing...
Miusheri: jon with tequilamiusheri on February 12th, 2009 03:48 pm (UTC)
Took them 200 years on Darwin, about 500 or 600 years on Galileo... let's split the difference, and gear up to celebrate the Catholic Church's acceptance of responsible family planning in the year 2409!

Because, you know, Augustine totally invented prophylactics. Roman guy? Trojan brand condoms? You see the connection, don't you?
How Random Babbling Becomes Corporate Policyt3knomanser on February 12th, 2009 04:11 pm (UTC)
"Where's a pack of Trojans when you need them." -Mel Brooks as a "Stand-Up Philosopher" in ancient Rome, History of the World, Pt. 1.

//Still pissed that we never got Pt. 2, with Jews... in... Spaaaaaace.