January 6th, 2006



Since I've been getting more of these lately (though, thankfully, not as severe), and am still at a loss to explain them, I'll probably, finally drag my arse to a doctor and ask.

I have been looking into some theories, though, because I'd really like to know what's going on in my head. Low blood sugar and panic attacks have been two, but I don't think they really cut it. Low blood sugar is almost always associated with diabetes, which I don't have. In cases where one has low blood sugar but not diabetes, it's often an indicator of something really nasty, like liver/kidney failure or cancer (which I really hope I don't have). Anyway, the reason I doubt low blood sugar the most is that I don't get any of the phsyical symptoms usually associated with it- no shakiness, no heart palpitations, nothing like that. Also, my eating habits don't really fluctuate- I always eat three meals and several snacks throughout the day- so it's hard to see where a dip in blood sugar could possibly be coming from.

The same goes for panic attacks. I don't get any of the physical symptoms, and my little spells don't always occur during times of stress.

These episodes seem to happen at random. Just, wham- I slip into this state where my head runs through a slew of old memories, and then I'm dizzy, sleepy, overwhelmed, confused, sometimes nauseated. I know it's happening, I can't stop it from happening, I'm conscious throughout the episode, but during the more severe ones, I'm not always aware of what I'm saying or what's going on around me. I keep feeling a lot of thoughts- usually memories- coursing through my head, but I can't concentrate on any one in particular, or tell you what it is I'm remembering. And when I'm back to normal- the episodes themselves never last more than a few minutes, but sometimes I don't actually feel better for several hours- I can't remember what the memories were at all (kind of like a dream that's forgotten).

Based on all that, my best theory so far is that I'm having simple partial seizures, most likely of the temporal lobe. For most epileptics, these are the "auras" or "little warning seizures" they get before the real seizure hits, but some people (like me, if this is actually what's happening) don't have the full-blown, unconscious seizures afterward. As far as seizures go, they could definitely be worse. And there's several different kinds of simple partial seizures, some of which are actually pleasant to experience. Some lucky bastards feel an overwhelming happiness, or even orgasm whenever they have theirs. Why don't I get those seizures? ; )

Anyway, that's still theory 'til I have my head examined- and we can all agree that I should've had that done years ago! If I find any better theory, or if the doc tells me it's something else, I'll be sure to mention it. Don't have an appointment set yet, but I'll get to that... if I can remember who the hell I designated as my PCP (I more or less picked someone at random)...
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