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12 June 2007 @ 11:27 am
"We don't have the bandwidth for that." (i.e., We're too busy.)
"Let's take that off-line." (i.e., Let's talk about that away from the group.)

Post a business-tard expression that makes your skin crawl in the comments.
Aikidoka, dreamer, seeker, general purpose geekmanycolored on June 12th, 2007 06:20 pm (UTC)
"We can't risk alienating our stakeholders" (as an excuse for never changing ANYTHING).
Miusheri: jon with tequilamiusheri on June 12th, 2007 06:40 pm (UTC)
Oh, that one sucks! But I'll have to remember it for the next time I don't want to do something... >=)

I added another one to my post... it seems to come down to me hating the expressions that misuse technology terms.
Brandonprice on June 12th, 2007 08:59 pm (UTC)
I want to punch people in the mouth every time I hear talk of "interfacing" with customers or coworkers.
Miusheri: Dr. Who WTFmiusheri on June 12th, 2007 09:11 pm (UTC)
Oh yes, that's another terrible one! I'm starting to think that the worst ones are abuses of technological terms: the sort of thing that's coined when a Pointy Haired Boss picks up a few words from a conversation between programmers and thinks that using them will make him sound smarter.

We will have to meet up with you sometime soon... =)
Brandonprice on June 13th, 2007 02:14 am (UTC)
Absolutely. We just got a new grill, so there's always that option.
Chia de Bosk: Brotherly Lovechiasmushf on June 13th, 2007 01:01 am (UTC)
Well, you've got two of my love-to-hate favorites right there in the OP.

I'm personally livid at referring to people as "resources". It's like: "Okay, we're going to need two printers, a couple of monitors, some Java developers, a few reams of paper, and a coffee machine."

No. People are people. Things are resources.

But the one that makes me *headdesk* every time is any time a feature request is called "an emergency". I imagine it's different in help desk/infrastructure land, but there is no such thing as a Java development emergency. There simply isn't. Are people going to die if this code does not get fixed? No. And it's one thing when it's a bug, but I've seen it as feature requests. If some functionality wasn't important enough to mention beforehand, it's unimportant enough to wait to the next release. BLARGH.

And then there's the associated "top priority", "on fire", "hot", etc. I honest to God had a meeting where my boss's boss's boss said, "What's hotter than 'white hot'?", because we'd already gone through enough "new top priorities" that we stopped paying attention and even "firefight", "hot", "red hot", and "white hot" were burnt out during the last few "emergency meetings" that week.

What really pissed me off about that was when people laughed after my boss's boss's boss said that. Do you have any idea how pathetic your management is when you're so out of touch with issues that they all surprise you and all become a top priority that needs to be fixed right away? Where has anyone been this entire time? BLARGH BLARGH BLARGH!!!

...whew...that was cathartic...
Miusheri: gotevil?miusheri on June 14th, 2007 01:12 am (UTC)
Yeah, I've always thought "human resources" is kind of a weird term when you start thinking about it. Creepy, even. Soylent Green is human resources.

Oh, geez- the most people do with feature requests in my neck of the woods is ignore them, heh! Well, it depends on the source of the feature request: customer who doesn't spend a lot of money, or customer who spends gajillions? Guess whose feature requests are going to be considered for the next release? Of course, being in tech support, I'm not entirely qualified to comment. I have no idea what really goes on in developer land.

Glad you got that off your chest! Feel free to rant any time, I seriously do welcome it. =D
Ellieellie on June 13th, 2007 02:21 am (UTC)
I hate anything to do with servicing customers. I'm an account manager dammit, not a prostitute!
Miusherimiusheri on June 14th, 2007 01:14 am (UTC)
But we are on the phone all day... omg teh hawt fone sex0rz! ;D
Annoying Pant-leg Pulling Chihuahua of Justice!stardragonca on August 5th, 2007 06:56 am (UTC)
"You can't just solve a problem by throwing money at it."
(Suit-dude! That's what money is for!)
Annoying Pant-leg Pulling Chihuahua of Justice!stardragonca on August 5th, 2007 07:00 am (UTC)
A Quantum Leap. Always used by someone who obviously hasn't the vaguest notion of what it means. Thus do they use it wrong.
I think I hate this one the most.
Yes,i'm sure I do.