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09 October 2006 @ 04:12 pm
It's not a toomah! Then what is it?  
I was curious. Alcohol and drugs kill brain cells. Oxygen deprivation kills brain cells. Smacking your head off of something kills brain cells. So seizures probably kill off fuckloads of brain cells, right? Especially since I stop breathing/have cyanosis every time, and have once fallen and smacked my head at the onset of a seizure?

Do Seizures Damage the Brain?

The answer will shock you, but here it is all the same, in a nutshell: They don't know! Same answer I get to everything else seizure-related, despite all the expensive testing and centuries of medical research.

But this-here quote isn't optimistic: "Research performed over several decades suggests that seizure-induced brain injury is highly dependent upon developmental age, with the juvenile and adult brain being more susceptible to damage and rewiring after seizures than the brain of the newborn."

Fan-fuckin'-tastic. So now I wonder/worry if the emotional rollercoaster I've been on since the seizures started is actually drug-related, or if it's been hard-wired. I hope to hell it's the former. I want to wean off the "We don't know how this works, but here, take it anyway" drug one of these days and become the normal, stable person I was six months ago. What if I stop taking it, and I'm still this mental case who gets insecure/crushingly depressed/bitchy for absolutely no reason? I don't think I could deal with it for another fifty-odd years, or however long I have to wait. When I'm in one of those moods, that's all life feels like: just killing time until I kick off.
Ellieellie on October 9th, 2006 08:33 pm (UTC)
Darling, I completely sympathize with you. When I have my "episodes" as they're now called, I've been told I don't get enough blood to the brain. We know that blood is very important to have in your system because it brings oxygen and nutrients to the brain. It carries off the CO2.

I guess I'm lucky. My problems don't get emotional, they more get unfocused and dazy. But yeah, sympathizing completely with you.

They need to know more about this stuff.
Miusheri: mayat_tempmiusheri on October 9th, 2006 08:40 pm (UTC)
I don't think I have to mention how, with our two doctors, this wouldn't be a problem. ;)

But yeah, aggravation all around. *hugs* How was the MRI, and how goes the heart monitoring?
Ellieellie on October 9th, 2006 08:48 pm (UTC)
I'm still refraining from getting upset with my doctor. In fairness, she doesn't have all the info she needs yet. There might be some magic, mood not altering med for me.

MRI and heart monitor in a post on my lj. Basically I have no veins.
steelerbabe777steelerbabe777 on October 10th, 2006 12:12 pm (UTC)
I know how both you and Ellie feel!!! I can't really relate to the brain cell thing (although, if you count how much alcohol I drink and how many drugs I've done in the past, I'm sure I've killed off my fair share), but I can CERTAINLY relate to the mood thing. Then again, mine isn't drug-induced, it's hormonal (or lack thereof). Luckily, Ronnie understands, otherwise he'da been gone a LONG time ago. For example, one day I start bawling and screaming at him for not putting the towel back on the towel rack. I mean, BAWLING. Over a fucking towel?!!? Once I realized what I was doing, I started cracking up hysterically. Now you tell me how the hell that makes any sense whatsoever? Trust me, I know how you feel and it sucks MAJORLY, but I'd hate to see you stop taking these pills and have a really bad reaction... I know it sucks not to have answers, but just hang in there babe...I mean, think about it...aren't we ALL just killing time until we finally kick it?