?

Log in

No account? Create an account
 
 
27 July 2003 @ 10:42 am
Weekend Pt. 1  
So whose bright idea was it to put water chestnuts in a veggie burger? I mean, I like water chestnuts just fine, but when I'm eating something that is trying to convince me of its meatlike facade, the last thing I want to hear or feel is *crunch*.

I would've made myself a real hamburger, but I hate touching raw meat and don't know the first thing about the grill. The veggie substitute only needed a minute and a half in the microwave. God help me when I have to start making my own dinner on a regular basis.

Anywho... I got my first look at the new-and-improved closer Mars!

I was heading out to my car after visiting with Nick on Friday when- hello- huge bright red thing in the sky due east! I ran back in and got everyone in the house to come out and see it too. It was just awesome. I could've stayed out all night staring at it, if it weren't so darn chilly. Now I can't wait for our telescope to be operational again (its motorized base crapped out and is on its way back to the manufacturer)...

On Saturday morning I worked at Satan Square (*DING-DING!* WHOO-WHOOOO!). The speakers in the store were really starting to freak me out. Any time someone walked near them, they started belching waves of static over the muzak. Felt like I was in the middle of Silent Hill. And with no gun nearby to eradicate the demons, either ; )

After work I drove way out to Elizabeth with Nick to help him pick up his GTP; poor car's been having all kinds of problems lately. We got lost on the way down, and therefore got home sorta late and just bummed around for the rest of the evening. Thought I might work up the nerve to play Age of Mythology, but I didn't. I just watched Nick play a map and give his opponents a sound routing. RTS (real-time strategy) games still make me all nervous and paranoid, heh... I swear they're more stressful than anything school or work could throw at me. But hey, I more or less got over my first-person shooter anxiety, I can get over this too.

Tonight we're supposed to be visiting with Nick's ex-girlfriend and her hubby. Spooky noochies, indeed... actually I'm sure it's not going to be bad at all and I'm silly to be nervous about it, but I have this weird need to make a strong and lasting impression when I go over there. Like, the kind of impression that says "I'm superior to you in every way, bizznatches!"

Over the past couple of weeks, Nick's recontacted her and is trying to be friends again. Meanwhile, I still have stuck in my head the stories of the ways she hurt him when they were dating, and even though he got over it, it's hard for me to do the same. It's the same thing that happened with my mom and her ex-boyfriend. I never liked him much anyway, and when my mom came home crying one night about the huge fight they'd had, that was just icing on the cake. This sucks, I thought, but at least now I can despise him in public and Mom can get on with her life. But within a week or two they made up. And even though it was all sunshine and roses for my mom, I was still bitter. I still hurt for her. He made her cry, for Godssake. Again I had to keep my resentment to myself and pretend that I liked him, which was ten times harder because of that. Fortunately, only a few more months passed until he lost his temper and bitched me out for no good reason on Thanksgiving, and Mom gave his ass the boot for good.

Anyway, yeah, I won't deny that the jealousy thing is there too, followed up closely by the not-being-sure-about-Ex-Girlfriend's-intentions thing. That's primarily why Nick wants me to spend some time with her, so that I can start letting go of all the suspicions. It's hard, though... my own dad is a less-than-stellar example of marital fidelity, and memories of finding that out and how I felt afterward pop into my head at the worst possible times.

You'd think I'd be over all this after three years together (two of them as an engaged couple). But this is the first girl Nick's ever had as a friend since I've been with him. Meanwhile, I've been giving poor Nick a run for his wits for a good long while... most of my college friends happen to be guys. ^_^* I know he more than emphasizes with the jealousy thing- and I know how frustrating the jealousy thing can be to the other party, so I'm really, really trying to be good. Must have open mind and give everyone a fair chance. Must keep tongue-in-cheek barbs in head and out of mouth...
 
 
Current Mood: mellowmellow
Current Music: Ayumi Hamasaki - Girlish